We have reached the top of the Mountain Today...

College Preportory School is hard for the most advanced student. As most of you know, I have a child that has been labelled with a learning disability. EVERYTHING comes hard for him. His elementary years, I thought we would never make it. I have shed more tears over his obstacles. Last year at his school Jonathan was awarded the most distinguished award given, The Character Award. Which basically says through every trial it was evident this person showed true character and perservered, and showed Christ like behavior from his teachers down to his peer.....







So, a very hard and challenging year later, we are sitting at this years awards assembly. This year a little different. Unlike last year, the students voted this year for the kids awards...... One by one I watched the kids go up on the stage and get their award. Never saw Jonathan get up. So, tears are about to surface. I hear an announcement from one of the teachers. She said that two students made medals for every student at this school. I knew Jonathan would get his medal. If you have ever sat through countless awards and never heard your childs name, you can so relate to what I am saying.







At the very end of the assembly the principal got up and talked about the final award, it was that time again for the Character Award. This award is from the teachers only....I knew Jonathan wouldn't make it again this year. This is a very high honor and it needs to be spread out to other students. There are many students worthy of this award. So, I knew Jonathan would be sitting there knowing he surely wouldn't get it again, but yet, didn't receive any award and all his friends, of course, did.







"This honor goes to Jonathan Cox" I was floored. I didn't have my camera on, I was in the very back, and was not expecting this. Neither was Jonathan......He yelled, "yes, yes!!"....so much for that character......

I have never said to God, why in the world would you do this to my son....I have only said to God, please don't waste this opportunity to turn Jonathan into the kind of man that through every trial, will seek the face of Jesus and follow that example......I am watching this prayer being answered each and every day in his life. It's not in the paper that says Character....It's in little things, for example, at Jonathan's end of the year party there was a boy sitting by himself and I watch and Jonathan and a lot of his buddies go and sit with him. That is Character......

Miley Cyrus has a new song out entitled, The Climb.



"There's always gonna be another mountain, I'm always gonna wanna make it move. Always
gonna be a uphill battle, sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.
Aint about how fast I get there. Aint about what's waiting on the other side.....
It's the Climb...........

Today, we have reached the top and are basking in the ever sweet success of another mountain climbed. Not thinking about all the other mountains we have to climb one day, just celebrating it ONE day at a time.....

I am so very proud of you my wonderful, beautiful son.....You have always made my life a mountain top experience.......End note, he did wear his medal given by two thoughtful girls.......

Bye Bye Birdie

My son and his friend (both nature lovers) found a baby robin bird. They made a cage for it and gave it grass and sticks to capture his enviroment. The cage was our outdoor fireplace...which seemed the perfect place...The bird could look outside and be protected from preditors....

Our neighbor came over and told us everything we needed to do to help this bird grow. Even gave us bird food for babies rich in vitamins. All you have to do is add water. Oh the boys were so excited.

As with most things in life...The boys got interested in other things (girls down the street) and ran to play. Okay, here comes the preditor part...We have two schnauzers dogs....well, if you know anything about schnauzers you will find they are from the "RAT' terrior family...yes, they are hunters....Well, you know where this story is going....Dogs need out, Dad lets dogs out, dog LOVES bird....Dog finds a way into cage.....DOG EATS BIRD....oh, sorry, "Stubby"....yes, they named the bird Stubby.....

I was just playing a joke on the boys and ran in the living room, not knowing the dog really did get the bird, and told the boys the cage was missing....we all ran outside so I could say, "just kidding" when we stopped in our tracks to see the door wide opened and NO Snubby....the search was on.....I looked down to see the bird on the ground...dead....single bite wound to the heart....that dog is GOOD.....I really didn't want to tell them....I even had the thought of picking the dead bird up and putting him back in the cage and let them think it was just sick and the best thing was for him to die...what was I gonna tell this neighbor...As my mind was trying to decide what to do, the dog came for another bite, and the boys saw it...Defeat was all over their face...'STUBBY'!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stubby is in his final resting place...compelete with a 1 BB gun salute from my son while his friend sadly watched with his head down.......

Oh, the dog was able to attend the funeral...her trial is next week.....snatching in the first degree.......

Happy Mother of Boyz Birthday

Jim told me first thing this morning that he didn't have anything for Mother's Day for me....I explained to him the fact that he busted it over at our flip house and mowed, edged, and blew the yard....that is my mother's day gift....Our plan was to go to Barksdale Air Force Show today...Yes, that is what you get when you have boys....which I was excited to do...He went to Brookshires and got my some flowers, box of my favorite chocolate candy and had the boys sign a card....Okay, I love my boys the same...just in different ways...Jonathan, my oldest, is the sensitive one...wants to please...and has had a walk with Christ like no other I've ever met...He wrote on my card, "You are the best because fulfilling God's plan is what you do!" Wow, would love to see his real perspective on me....I fall so short all the time doing God's plan...that is what keeps me in trouble....but in his eyes, I don't....Ryan, on the other hand, loves me more than anything...I can make him feel bad simply by crying and ....but, he is a man of few words....He WON'T be a writer in his life....this is what he wrote me...."You are special because you help me do my homework." Wow, really, special....

so, we loaded up, and drove to Shreveport to see the air show....It was so very cloudy the whole way...Jim asked me if I looked at a weather report, I didn't...It rained so hard when we pulled in....It stopped raining but very cloudy.....If you have ever been to an air show, clouds are the main reason they cancel...however, they didn't, they just modified....we didn't care...we were just out of the house and together....funny thing was, when the Blue Angels got ready to fly, it cleared off....That is a show like no other...I was so very impressed....I am afraid Ryan was impressed...he loves military anything....I really don't want that life for him, however, it's not up to me....

We went to the Board Walk and ate at Joe's Crabshack....then walked around some...bought Ryan a pair of plaid sperry's .....not sure why, but he has wanted a pair for awhile.....when we left, we drove by Jim's new plant they are trying to get and he explained the process...he is soooo good at what he does....I am so very amazed at his knowledge....He will learn ANYTHING.....which is so nice to have around ......and he took me to Hot Hot Donuts....I grew up going to Hot Hot and he knew how special it was for me.....It's little things like that that make Jim the best thing that ever happened to me....

Today, was special, not because it was supposed to be....but because it was another day we got to spend together, the four of us...we laughed, fought, ate, walked, but mostly loved....I cherish every single moment with my children....They truly are the driving force behind me....well, after Jim...he really is...together, jim and I have managed to make two wonderful boys that will offer a lot to the world one day, but for right now, they offer a lot to me....

Happy Mother's Day to me.....Mother of Boyz....It truly doesn't get any better than that......

Mother's Day~what's it for?

Today, I tried to clean house, do all the laundry, and get things organized for tomorrow, because it's my day.....whatever the heck that means...Are my boys going to be perfect angels....ummm..no, I told them today they had to be....My youngest said he made me something at school for mothers day, however, he left it at school and would give it to me Monday...My oldest just said, "oh, sorry Mom, I didn't get you anything."

It's funny, I used to really HATE this day... I lost my Mom when I was 21 and had to sit in church and listen to songs about mothers and hear a preacher talk about mothers...I would look around and see grown moms and daughters and it would be so hard....Only to get married, and try desperately to have children and never could.....I will never forget after trying with the help of lots of medication and a fertility doctor, sitting in my living room painting baseboards with the T.V. blaring in the background and I heard the news reporter talking about a mom that drove her two young boys into the lake and killed them.....I was beyond mad.....Why had God allowed this worthless woman to have kids...she doesn't even know what to do with them...they got in the way of a man....I had to go to God on this one....Let go and let God is all I could do at that moment....I weaped for those children.....for the father that was never given to choice to take them from her.....for women that would be much better parents but never given a chance....Little did I know that I was already pregnant with Jonathan that very day.....

I honestly believe I was put on this earth to be a Mom....I can't imagine my life without my two boys in it....They absolutely drive me crazy, but they absolutely melt my heart....we have so much fun together..each is so totally different from the other....but the best part is, they are best friends...they don't really want to do things outside the house...they are happy with a plastic bat and ball and the yard to play their game.....just the two of them.....

Tomorrow will be fun, not because I will receive a homemade card (which will totally rock my world) but because I get to spend yet another day with them....going to the air show (which was my youngest son's idea)....

somehow I feel the overwhelming urge to go hug both my boys....and tell them I love them.....

Happy Mother's Day to me....Thank you God for gifting me with Jonathan and Ryan...You must have thought I was pretty special to give my such awesome responsibilities......I will do my best to Honor You in guiding them through life.......

What I want to be when I grow up

It's May and my youngest is about to graduate from Elementary School....WOW, how time has just flowen... Which means he has been in school for 6 years, and I still haven't gone back to work...Today I was having lunch with some girl friends and we started talking about what we wanted to do in life that would be rewarding. That is a hard question, I thought.....I LOVE children but the thought of being in a classroom every single day makes my stomach hurt....I know, I did it and hated it....but, love the kids....so, to reason this out would be to work backwards....What can you do that involves children but not teach?....million dollar question. I really want to go back to work. The thought of being in the "grown" up world is really exciting. I need that sense of worth. But, I don't want to teach.
One of my friends was suggesting something that really interested me..so, I am going to do research and see what happens...but, the hard thing will be to sell my husband...he wants income NOW....this won't bring income immediately...
Another suggestion was to do some writing....I gotta tell you, I sell myself real short...I don't think I'm as good as people have said...To me, they are just being nice....Anyone call write as long as they have the material....
I truly feel like I am in a foreign country trying to find my place in the world.....I have had 6 years to find something and either couldn't or wouldn't.....
I guess the thing I most afraid of is two fold....1. I watched my Mom work at a job that paid bills, not necessarily what she was passionate about, but okay...she was able to save money because one day she and my Dad would retire and travel. She never got to leave Longview because she died at the early age of 50. One her death bed would she have said, I loved my job most of all...No, I don't think so.... and 2. If I go to work full time, I will miss some things for my boys. That will absolutely kill me.....I know one thing for certain...I love every minute I have with my boys....I don't want to miss a thing....Am I living in fear that one day I could die and not have them anymore...
I better find something fast, I am running out of time....Where did my little boy go? Why did he grow up so fast? What am I gonna do when I grow up??? Time is now to find the answer to that question.......Like it or not, this chapter is about to be over...Time to turn the page.......