Today, I tried to clean house, do all the laundry, and get things organized for tomorrow, because it's my day.....whatever the heck that means...Are my boys going to be perfect angels....ummm..no, I told them today they had to be....My youngest said he made me something at school for mothers day, however, he left it at school and would give it to me Monday...My oldest just said, "oh, sorry Mom, I didn't get you anything."
It's funny, I used to really HATE this day... I lost my Mom when I was 21 and had to sit in church and listen to songs about mothers and hear a preacher talk about mothers...I would look around and see grown moms and daughters and it would be so hard....Only to get married, and try desperately to have children and never could.....I will never forget after trying with the help of lots of medication and a fertility doctor, sitting in my living room painting baseboards with the T.V. blaring in the background and I heard the news reporter talking about a mom that drove her two young boys into the lake and killed them.....I was beyond mad.....Why had God allowed this worthless woman to have kids...she doesn't even know what to do with them...they got in the way of a man....I had to go to God on this one....Let go and let God is all I could do at that moment....I weaped for those children.....for the father that was never given to choice to take them from her.....for women that would be much better parents but never given a chance....Little did I know that I was already pregnant with Jonathan that very day.....
I honestly believe I was put on this earth to be a Mom....I can't imagine my life without my two boys in it....They absolutely drive me crazy, but they absolutely melt my heart....we have so much fun together..each is so totally different from the other....but the best part is, they are best friends...they don't really want to do things outside the house...they are happy with a plastic bat and ball and the yard to play their game.....just the two of them.....
Tomorrow will be fun, not because I will receive a homemade card (which will totally rock my world) but because I get to spend yet another day with them....going to the air show (which was my youngest son's idea)....
somehow I feel the overwhelming urge to go hug both my boys....and tell them I love them.....
Happy Mother's Day to me....Thank you God for gifting me with Jonathan and Ryan...You must have thought I was pretty special to give my such awesome responsibilities......I will do my best to Honor You in guiding them through life.......
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