MOTHER OF BOYZ: Day ONE (and Probably Only) of Getting Into Shape

Spring is in the air...which means in Texas, it is HOT....baggy sweatpants and hoodie will no longer be able to be worn. Although I felt my best in them it just is too hot....So for weeks I have been telling my hard head self that it is time to get in shape. To add to this, we are in the process of building a pool. Now, last time I checked, the only full bodied (swimwear) cover up is a wet suit. Trust me, I tried to get away with it, but people looked at me as though I had lost my mind...like I was looking to ride Shamu IN A POOL!!!!!!! So, really, no more excuses...
Last week, I started my workout program...I looked in the exercise/game room at ALL the exercise equipment we have....BORING!!! I don't have a TV where I can catch "Army Wives" .....I tried lifting weights but every time my kids heard the dumbbell hit, they ran outside to watch me like I was the main event at the freak show at the Fair.....I got tired of them laughing so hard they were on the floor....I threatened them with ending their very existence if I saw a phone come out of their pocket and happened to see myself on UTUBE!!!!!! So, basically I wasn't safe anywhere....Walking...I can go fast or slow....For THREE days I walked...Four miles.....Day four hit and I was not going to have anything to do with this....oh, the excuses came from everywhere....Dogs chase me....People want to hit me....Trees could fall and kill me....Why there are horses waiting for me to walk by so they can stampede over me....I NEVER said my logic was....well, logical.....I live in a constant state of paranoia.....
So, this weekend I said, enough is enough...I can watch someone exercising on TV and want to do that so bad....They run through a beautiful neighborhood with flowers and trees, green grass, and sprinklers.....AND a camera crew right beside them on the universal lot where just two days ago...it was a neighborhood devastated by aliens.....

Sooo....Sunday, I decided it is time to eat right and exercise...You NEVER started a program on Sunday....IT IS THE DAY OF REST....I got it straight from GOD!!! So, I decided, Monday I will start....
Sunday, I made Chocolate no bake cookies...time to carb up for my big ride tomorrow....I ate 5 cookies before I even knew what hit me....Took my sweet boy out to eat....large portion of Mexican food....This will do it....I am ready now...

Monday Morning, I get on my bike.....hair pulled back in a ponytail, with a ball cap on ( I am trying to NOT be noticed)....Music in one ear, the other to listen for that huge Sand Lot dog that is waiting, or the tree that will decide to fall as soon as I shake the road hard enough.....I am feeling good. The wind is hitting my face, I can smell the fresh grass being mowed, the cows and horses are not wanting to stampede me, they are eating....everything is good.....UNTIL.....I hit my first hill.....HILL??? Today, I would call that a mountain....I am telling myself, stop, get a drink and rest....Are you kidding me, you just started....See how my brain is split in half and constantly fighting with itself....I kept going....Then it happened...I turned to find the biggest hill EVER....Okay, I can do this....I found the song, Rocky (yes, I really did!), turned it on and turned the corner to climb every mountain....There they were....THREE men about at the top of the mountain WORKING!!! REALLY, you HAD to pick TODAY to turn on the electricity to this house....They couldn't just wait one more day to turn on lights.....It is NOT a pretty sight..I am dying...I am going slower than I would if I were walking...You can hear me breathe, sweat pouring down my face, arms, legs....my hat falls off....It is truly a sight....Here's the thing, they should laugh....If I were them, I would be laughing!....IT was funny....MY TWO minds were in agreement....DON'T YOU DARE STOP NOW!!! Kick it in and finish....Finally made it to the top.....It sounded as though I had gone through the entire birthing process...Heavy breathing, clinching my nails into the handlebars, looking for ANOTHER lower gear...only to find there are no more....Who knows, I may have even screamed....But I made it...

Only to have Sparky the dog come and want to naw on my legs....I am pleading with this stupid dog to please go home and eat breakfast...not my leg...it won't taste good, it's all sweaty....Thank goodness a car drove by and Sparky went to chase the tire on that car.....Didn't say Sparky was a smart dog.....

I made it home safely, my legs felt like rubber bands and every chocolate cookie in my stomach turned on me.....Day Two should be interesting.....I think I might try roller skating....I seem to remember I was pretty good in my younger days.....