Let me start out by saying, other than God and my wonderful husband, I love my two boys more than anything. And, I love them equally. With that said, Ryan, my youngest, is just about to turn 11. He is cool, well liked by his peer with a great sense of humor...He reminds me a lot of Randy on Tool Time.....Lately, Mom is the brunt of most of his jokes....I am probably an easy target.....
Friday, Ryan and I were at Target in Longview waiting on Jonathan to get finished with a lesson. We were just basically killing time. Secretly, I think he loves to shop. He is good about helping me pick out the right shirt, if I just show him two and move on to his stuff.....So, at Target I started not feeling very well, so I went to the bathroom and starting blacking out. I couldn't see anything. I felt like I was going to faint or throw up. So, I managed to pull myself together and walk out of the bathroom and wishpered to Ryan that I was getting sick and we had to go. He looked up at me and said, Mom, put your hand on my shoulder and I will help you to the car." Immeditely, my mind went back to when he was a baby and ANYTIME he saw me, he ran towards me. I have many video's where I have had to not let him see me so that I could get some footage without holding him. He loves his Mom very much. It's just that recently showing your Mom how much you love her isn't so cool. But not today. I proudly put my hand on his shoulder and we walked together. I kept saying I was sorry for all this and he would just say, "why do you keep saying you are sorry, it's not your fault."
I know all too soon, as it is supposed to be, Ryan will give his heart to another woman. I also KNOW that he will offer his shoulder for her to lean on....I will hunt her down and kill her.....oh, sorry, got a tad bit emotional for a second......No, I will love her as long as she loves my son.....
But NOTHING, not even a girl, will ever take the memory of yesterday.
Oh how I love my Ryan-O boy!!!!
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