Changes

tonight, I am sitting at my computer writing this blog with a heart that hurts VERY much!! Jonathan and I packed our bags and drove to College Station to help Kyle move into his new apartment this weekend. I felt a tugging at my heart all day Saturday knowing Kyle was packing up basically, his life and moving to a new place. He has been at that home since the day he was born. Now memories of 21 years of his life pack up, boxed up, and loaded up in a U-Haul trailer. The one thing he couldn't pack up was his dog of 16+ years, who, I might add, sleeps with Kyle every night. Kyle is the one that gets up during the middle of the night and takes him out. According to Vickie, he picked Rowdy up and carried him around the house until he left.
We had a busy day unpacking his life and setting up house for him. A lot of laughter, and just hanging out.....Then, today, we had to say goodbye. I drove out of the parking lot and cried for a while....I am sad knowing Kyle won't be at home every night. I didn't see him a lot at home, but there is comfort in knowing everyone is where they need to be when it's bed time. Now, his home is somewhere else. Nothing could prepare me for what would happen tonight after I got home.

I had a missed call from Vickie. Now, I knew she was calling to tell me they had told Kyle bye. However, I didn't think I would hear the utter brokenness in her voice.... I knew that her heart was completely ripped out tonight and there was absolutely NOTHING I could do the help ease the pain. So, we cried together. I called Kyle to check on him and heard him tell me how he had set up his new house. I wanted to get into my car and go get him right then!! But then I knew, tomorrow would come and he would have to go back.

See, it all comes down to change. I hate it. Don't do it, don't want to do it. That is why my stomach starts hurting the first time I see a "Back to School" commercial, boarding my dogs for a week, someone moving, it all has to do with " changes"..... I like things to stay the same. Yes, I might get bored, however, my heart would not hurt as much!!!

I know Kyle is going to do great!! He is where Kyle Shipp needs to be tonight...He has wanted to go to A&M since he was a little boy. Now, he is there. From this moment on, we have to learn to let go and let him fly....But my part is to be there to just comfort Vickie and Howard as they release him.........If I had it my way, we would all live on the land together...no one could leave, and they would have to marry women and men that would be opened to stay with us forever....no one leaves....EVER......How's that for healthy issues!!!........ Tonight, I think I'll go sit with my boys a while and just hold them...Because in the near future, I too will be driving home with my heart broken because I just had to release one of my own......Unless I can convince them both to go to our local college!!!!