Man in Uniform

This morning our family went to see a patriotic musical done by our local church. It was spectacular!! One of the songs the choir sang was a song that represented every military unit, and if you served in a particular branch, you were to stand while they sang the song that went with your branch. They also had a person march down the asile carrying the flag that represented their unit....My husband stood when they sang the Army Song...I was so very proud of him....Then it came....like candy in a candy store....like a boy seeing a cute girl....The United States Marine....This unit got the attention of my son. I mean how could it not...they are dressed from head to toe...even down to the crisp white gloves...and of course, this branch was last....How dare you recruit my son....he is only 11 years old....there that guy was...I swear he looked at my son the whole time...even though we were in the bacony and were probably 200 ft away...but to a mother he was right in front....If my son could wear the uniform and not have to go through all that brutal training, I would let him go....But as a Mother, how can I control him....I mean how can I guide him when he is so far away...I don't think the military lets the boys bring their Mother.....And for good reason....

I know that if my boys dream is to serve our country, I have to let him....God didn't give me Ryan to fulfill my dreams, but to fulfil God's dreams...

Maybe I'll take him to the candy store tomorrow and let him pick out whatever candy he wants....My luck there will be a recruitment office right next door......

To all our Military guys and girls, I salute you for everything you do..You basically give up your life so that I can have mine....To all those Mothers that have to let them go, I pray for you. You are truly my heroes.....

NO MORE JON & KATE!!! BOYCOTT

I am so very mad right now...I really don't want to promote any thing on my blog...It is a blog about my life raising my two wonderful boys with my beautiful husband....However, I am so very upset right now that I am going to vent....

I watched the last episode of Jon & Kate ever..I will no longer watch their show and hope that the ratings will fall and the show will fail. I watched that show from the very beginning. In fact, we have a rule in our house during school nights no T.V. However, the boys love the show so much that on some occasions, if they finished their homework, we would watch it, or watch it on the weekend....As the episodes went on, I noticed they were focusing more on what they were buying than on spending time.....I used to love watching how Kate organized her house and how it was not uncommon to see her in sweat pants and no shoes....the new episodes she is not only dressed in the top fashion with jewlery, she has on HEELS!!!! What stay at home mom wears heels!!!!! But I guess not much is needed when people are constantly delivering "things" to the house.....All my boys would say is, "Mom, let's get on that show so we can get things..." They were even getting tired of all the stuff....

No, Jon, you are not thinking of the kids....And your first mistake was saying that your kids come first....What happened to God coming first....If you have lost sight of Him, then that explains why you have filed for divorce....This is NOT what is best for the kids.....If you believe that lie, ask ANY kid from a broken home if that is true....I would love to hear the answer to that one...Oh, wait, I know....

Every marriage goes through bad times....You as a couple have to move together with every stage...There is NO "ME" in a family,....it's "US".....The best thing that could happen to Jon and Kate is NO ONE watch their show.....I want to encourage EVERYONE to never watch it again...even the repeats....I know funding....if you don't watch, they don't continue.....TLC will drop them quickly...Then they will come back to the normal world....probably too late for them...But, I do know this, God CAN turn that marriage around...I have seen it first hand.......But, you have to let go of the selfishness of the "me" and ask God how...

I pray for that family tonight...I pray especially for those kids....what in the world will happen to their little world...all they know is when they want something, they get it...I wonder if any of those kids have asked for their parents back together....Wonder what TLC will do for them then???

Gotta go, I have two boys waiting for me to watch the college world series....That my friend is living...not a crazy house..which would be nice, but all too soon those kids will out grow that house..then what??? Time~ time spent talking, laughing, coloring, playing outside in the water hose, taking bike rides in 100+ degree weather......priceless....

The Gift of Time for Father's Day

We honored my father today by going to church with him......We all got up a little tired from a long night last night. The boys had some friends wanting to go "wrap" a yard. I decided to let them go as long as I could watch and make sure they were safe. I can remember as a middle school kid how much fun we had doing that. But, we don't live in that world any more. Long story short, they finished around mid-night and we came in but they were not ready for bed....they were as pumped as a football player that just scored the winning touch down....

I was trying to get myself dressed, find something for the boys to wear....when you home church, "church clothes" are not important. Actually, the boys wear shorts at our church....

We got in the car....a typical Sunday morning....late, grumpy, hungry, and now tired....I remind the boys that today is Father's Day and they owe it to their father to behave...Like it's okay all the other days of the year (except Mother's Day, of course) to act crazy.... They ate their healthy breakfast of pop-tarts and milk...and before we got out of the city limits they were at each others throats again....we finally made it to church... I tell the boys to smile, and BEHAVE!!!! Now as we are sitting in the pew, I can no longer yell, I have to do "the LOOK"....oh, they know the look...the look is, I"m gonna take you out of this world if you don't stop immediately what you are doing.....the boys swear my eyes turn red during these episodes.....

The preacher talked about how the best gift a father could give is the gift of time.....At that moment, my youngest poked me as if to say, I needed to hear that.....Okay, like we don't spend time with you......hello, did you forget I GOT UP WITH YOU LAST NIGHT SO YOU COULD WRAP!!!!! I just gave him "the look" and kept on listening!!!

After church we took my dad out to eat for lunch along with my sister and her family. Had a wonderful meal and we all talked.. Then we went to Dad's house to give him his gift...We took pictures out by his garden. He has the most beautiful sunflowers he grew just to enjoy....

One of the highlights of my day was walking around the house looking at all of Daddy's flowers. He would explain what they were and how well they grow....I have never done that!!! It was truly special. It was a memory that all to soon will become even more special because he will be gone....I love my dad so very much and realizing more every day how much I am like him...

We said our goodbyes and drove down the road and saw a produce stand.....I have been wanting a watermellon all summer long....And since the first day of summer is today, it was perfect.....We had the best time there...The boys had never been to a produce stand before....they even serve homemade peach and strawberry ice cream....We ordered it and sat down in the hot and humid weather and enjoyed every bite....We shared with the boys things we remembered as a child and how this would be something they will share with their children....

As we were driving home it hit me what the preacher had said earlier...the best gift a father can give is the gift of time...Isn't that the best gift anyone can give....How much time is wasted regretting you didn't spend the time when you had it.....I got one of the greatest gifts today....walking and talking with my dad....that is rich!!! that is worth more than silver and gold....

Daddy, thank you for always giving me the gift of your time...I can't remember a time my dad wasn't there for my piano recitals, band concerts, choir performances, sunday school, G.A. presentations and on and on....I always remember him being there....But thank you most of all for living the ultimate gift and that is the gift of salvation.....My Dad truly lived and still lives the verse talked about today, As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.....

Happy Father's Day to the best Dad ever!!!!!!!!!!!!

All I want to be is an All-Star

Today the boys and I were in the car on our way to the usual Walmart, bank, snowcone stand run....whatever our stomachs craved at the moment...We were laughing and talking and I looked at Ryan and said, "tell Jonathan who called last night..." Thinking I knew what his reaction would be...He would look at me and say in his 13 year old changing voice...NOOOOOO!! Not another summer going to baseball games with his BIG grin.....
Ryan didn't remember who called so I told him the name of the person that called and immediately I looked back at Jonathan waiting for the anticipated reaction......what I got broke my heart in a million pieces....Immediately tears starting streaming down his face.....I looked at him and he looked back at me and said, "I'm not jealous... it's just I have always wanted to make All-Stars and thought I did" I knew that he wasn't jealous....I knew exactly what Jonathan was feeling....Three years ago he really thought he was going to make All-Stars...We even had a coach tell us he was almost certain it would happen because of how hard Jonathan played. He waited and waited and never got that call.....He knew when it was time for teams to practice and he hadn't gotten that call, that his last chance had come and the answer was again, no.....As I am learning in my "girl" world, every boy wants to say he was in All-Stars....No one, in my opinion deserves it more than Jonathan Cox!! All these feelings came back to him and he couldn't control the hurt .....not the happiness for Ryan....because he is really proud of Ryan's talent and tells him often...So, when he tells me he isn't jealous...I really believe him....

I have always loved the fact that I had two boys and that they were only 21 months apart...They are truly like best friends... However, today, it is very difficult...Jonathan knows all to well about living in the shadow of his brother....Oh, yes, as a mother, I bring out differences that really make Jonathan shine...One day, he will know...but today....his day is very cloudy...his brother's glory is completely shading Jonathan's life....But tomorrow, he will be back to his great, funny, loving, tenderhearted way that makes my boy~ my hero......Once again, we find we are having to jump a hurdle....I wish you could see him jump......One thing about Jonathan, I KNOW he will give it his all......

I am trying to learn how to deal with the politics that come with playing sports...And trust me, the more you are involved, the more you find out.....I am ashamed at some things that I hear come from this little league.....which just confirms why Jonathan didn't make it....He didn't know how to work the system.....I look at the boys that play the game...No, not baseball, but the politics game, and would take Jonathan over any of these boys...They will never know college baseball because their Dad won't be able to pull strings for them.....If I sound bitter, I am.....Just like Jonathan I know all too well how that feels....and tomorrow I will be okay..But today, I am looking at my big boy upset because a dream he really always wanted has come back around and knocked him down.....The harder you fall, the stronger you are.....He will survive.....

Jonathan may not be an All-Star at Rose Capital East Little League, but in his daddy's and mommy's eyes......He is much more than ALL-STARS!!!! He's a Top seed, first pick, diamond in the rough, ace in the hole son no one will ever take away......Cuz we didn't pick him.....God pick him and gifted us with him!!!!

The Time Is Now

A while back my husband was reading a story about my family history on my Dad's side. He asked me about some of the people and, sadly I didn't know who many of them were. I remember getting together with these people once or twice a year at family reunions but, unless you were a kid and loved eating mustard and freeto sandwiches, I didn't get around you much... I have found that, as I get older, I long to know my family.

I am getting ready to pay my final respects to an aunt that passed away on Friday. I went to the family's home today and was flooded by many memories of that house. I looked out the kitchen window and could see (in my mind's eye) my uncle working in his garden....I remember from my childhood that he had a rather large garden in a relatively small yard. I got to visit with my cousin that I haven't seen since the last funeral. It was so good catching up but, the whole time we were visiting I was thinking to myself how sad it is that my aunt couldn't be here to enjoy all her family.

Why is it that we have limited ourselves to little or no contact with family members or friends until there is either a crisis or death. One thing that came to me was my perceived "flaws" in some of my family members. "Oh, I don't think I like that person."; "We don't share the same beliefs." or "That person was always so weird." I have found as I get older that the ones I feared the most, ended up surprising me the most. We build up such false perceptions of someone for so long that our perceptions become our reality.

The challenge I would love to throw out to my family, friends, kids, husband (and me too....especially ME too) is to tear down that "perception wall" and acccept each and every person regardless of their life style and/or life choices. We all make millions of choices in our lives......some good, some bad......and all result in consequences. Some of these choices are life changing. I truly hope to avoid standing in judgement of a person because a bad choice was made. There is only one person in charge of 'judgement" and HE is the only one that can handle it.....

I want to get to know my aunts, uncles, cousins, Dad, friends and sisters....I want to be able to be there for the good times and the bad....after all, who else should you want around you more than your friends and family during a time of need.....However, I don't need to see you only in time of crisis or death...It's much the same with your relationship to/with God....It is built up by a daily walk with Him....He is there for the good and the bad...It really isn't fair to HIM (or me either!) to run back to HIM only when you have a crisis....HE actually doesn't need our relationship, it's we that need HIS relationship....Much like our family....when a person dies, their memories of us go with them...we who are left behind are susceptible to living in regret with, "if I had only spent more time with them." "TIME" is the thief that we NEVER remember until it has passed....We all know how "in the blink of an eye" someone can be gone.....The question is, am I thankful I spent time with this person? There are NO "do overs" in life......

We are fortunate to live in a time where we can reach out and touch just about anyone on this earth. My word, we can find where they live and even "virtually" pass by their house....Reach out and touch a people just about any time of day and anywhere they go....Laugh when they laugh, cry when they cry, listen when they talk....It just takes a little time and effort and my admonition is (to me as well) is to just "DO IT!" I promise, you will get more out of it than they will....But these "Walls of Perception" must be torn down and replaced with bridges of acceptance......

Walking the Halls of Caldwell for the last time

Tomorrow afternoon around 3:00, I will walk the halls of Caldwell Elementary for the last time. My mind is flooded with so many wonderful memories from that school, starting with the very first time I ever walked on that campus and was met by friendly teachers knowing I was dropping off a kindergarten child for the first time ever....

One of my first memories was Stacey Jeanes. My son's kindergarten teacher and how she loved my son so very much. She was with him the day of 911. She on that very day became the nurturer I couldn't be for that horrific day in History.

I remember Mrs. Bowie. We will NEVER forget Mrs. Bowie. My son cried all summer long when he found out he got her, only to cry all the next summer to have to leave her. She did more for him in one year than most teachers do in a life time....She is and always will be Teacher of the Year in the Cox household.

Miss Bitter: Turned Ryan on to Biographies. He absolutely loves History because of what this teacher did for him.

Mrs. Malmstrom: Wasn't too sure about her...Only because all his friends were in other classes. And I was afraid she would be too soft for that class....It became REAL obvious real quick we were right where we should be. She was soft in the areas she needed to be, but expected greatness out of each and every student. It did not surprise us when she became Teacher of the Year......We still talk about her as a teacher.....

Coach Kemp: started a program called TOT....Ryan's ball handling skills improved so very much from this program. He absolutely loved TOT....Our only regret was not starting at the beginning. He would do the routines all the time around the house.....She took his basketball skill to a new level.....Now he wants to try out for basketball in Middle School.....

She

Legacy~

My son and I loaded in our car and drove to Longview to visit a family member that is dying. The radio was playing in the background and we would make small talk, (as much as you can get out of a 13 year old boy that is not sure why he is going to visit someone he really doesn't know). So we walk in the room and there she is, a woman I have watched all my life as a little girl, always doing something...always walking around making sure everyone had what they needed. I really can't remember a time when she sat for a long period of time. Her house was always neat, her bed was always made (funny, I would make note of that as a child), and her kitchen never had dishes in the sink.

I walked over to her bed where she spends all her time and just held her hands...Every now and then she would try really hard to get up, however, when you are down to 65 lbs, that is impossible. Her son was there and assured her she was okay and to just go back to sleep. I watched her breathing with the aid of oxygen, knowing this is not where anyone wants their life to end. I know if she had her way, she would be in her living room offering me something to drink. And sitting long enough to catch up on my life. But that is no longer the case. She can ask no more questions, make anymore drinks, wash any more dishes, or make anymore beds. She just sleeps. I watched her sleep and it was more than I could bare, tears starting rolling down my face. It's sad to know your life will more than likely end up right here where she is today....Live every moment...Don't miss a thing....Make every day a vacation....And always love...you never know when that love will come back to you again....